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Oh, I KNOW I'm random. [13 Jun 2011|09:52pm]

ok. so. in a better mood today now that I started working at my job which is really awesome and I love it.  but yeah. it's been a good day. and except i really hate my geology class right now.  i don't mind actually going to the class and stuff cause the people are really cool, but actually studying for it is such a pain. we have to do like 2.5 chpts a day if we want to stay ahead. it totally sux. anyway, so i got soooo bored writing chapter outlines today that I started writing in script.  hows that for random? lol. but anyway, I found out that my dog loves wrapping paper tubes.  so we had a fun time playing with that today.  i still hate summer classes thought, definitely never doing it again if i can get away with it.  i sorta failed anatomy and physiology big time first semester this past year ( i'll be a a sophomore in college) so i have to take this stupid class for credit so i can be on track to go to ireland and italy my spring semester of my junior year, which im totally xcited for cos i love traveling.  i think i might wanna do something with international relations once i'm done with school, or i'm thinking somewhere along the lines of child psychology. yayyy. anyway, i'm done with being random for now.  i hope you enjoyed my babble which is much more upbeat than the previous one. :) except my poison ivy's been really itchy and i just want it to go awayyyy.

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I Feel Fat Today [11 Jun 2011|01:34pm]

God I have the worst self esteem...like ever.  I'm always so insecure.  I think a lot of it is my parent's fault.  No, for real though.  I've been trying to lose weight. And this year when I joined the diving team at my school, I did lose a lot of weight.  I got stronger and better in shape.  But now I'm starting to gain it back. Anyway, I feel like my parents only like me when I'm losing weight...or at least, only really like me when I'm losing weight.  They have such a prejudice against obese or overweight people it isn't funny.  I hate it when they talk like they're so much better than everyone else because they're in good shape.  Honestly, though.  What does it matter?? As long as you're happy, why should they care? It's really none of their buisness.  They don't know how hard it is for some people, like me.  I basically had to starve myself and go to the gym like twice a day this past year to lose only 15 pounds.  I feel like I've already managed to gain most of it back.  I feel llike I can only be happy if I'm skinny, and that's a horrible way to think.  I feel so unhappy in my own skin.  I wish I could feel more comfortable with myself and that my parents would be happier with who I am.  I was also depressed a lot of high school because of them.  They didn't notice and didn't seem to care though- they're always too wrapped up in their own lives.  It's a lot better when I'm at school and away from their influences.  I don't know.  It feels good to write this out though.  I've only ever told my cousin (who I can tell anything and can never lie to) only half of this stuff.  I told her how many times I thought about just running away, which I know is stupid because I have such a great family, but they just make me sick sometimes.  I wish they weren't so prejudice.  It's nice that they've accepted me when I came out to them (I'm a lesbian) and stuff, but sometimes when it comes to things like appearances, they go all out. Okay. Sorry about this pity-party thing, but I needed to get this out.  I'm also kind of emotionally retarded thanks to them (i'm also a really good actress when it comes to this stuff, so they have no idea) and I haven't actually cried in years...since I was like, 8. and I'm 19 now.  So yeah.  I can't wait until I am financially able to get out of this house and onto the real world. Sorry for the long post, like I said I just had to get this out.

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[09 Aug 2010|11:20pm]


This is my question of the day: Why do people, in their young years, decide that it's the optimum time to drink, smoke, fuck each other like rabbits, pierce every part of their body, or e.) all of the above?

I don't understand it. But don't get me wrong, I'm seriously not a judging person (or at least I try not to be) but when I see bright, smart people who have a future hanging right over their heads, a great one at that, throwing their lives away, at least for a night, I just don't get it. Am I missing something? Is it that great to be the center of the party, a party that you won't even remember the next morning, except for flashbacks of you and some nameless stranger?

Maybe I'm just weird, but I don't understand it. I have a friend who's 15, turning 16 in December, and each day she comes to me with tales from the last party she was at (tales she can barely recount without saying "I dont remember what happened after that"), or what she got pierced over the weekend (read: what got infected by the equipment at the highway tattoo place). 

The thing is, I've known her since I was 3, I've been with her through everything, and I know this isn't her. I have friends who genuinely love getting piercings, or who drink and smoke on a daily basis because they love to do it, and I accept it, because it's who they are, its what they like to do, and I'm not going to fight them over this.

But this girl isn't like this, this isn't her. This girl is an honors student, a volunteer at a local camp for disabled kids, a survivor of an eating disorder, and a genuinely nice friend. She can't see herself this way, and I have no idea how to help.

 Maybe I'm just enjoying going off on a rant too much, maybe I'm just being overprotective, or maybe I worry too much. Either way, I don't get it at all.

On a side note- I
 look like something resembling a super hero lobster, covered in red paint with a white, sunglasses-shaped mask or pale skin have sunburn. 


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Hey [21 Oct 2009|10:07am]

Hey everyone


Im new to livejournal and if your interested in a good rant and rave then check out my blog its survivinhumdrum.livejournal.com

(2 ranted | think you're random?)

One of my many theories... [15 May 2006|02:49pm]

[ mood | full ]

I've got a theory...

Ok, so I'm probably gonna tread some thin ice on this blog. I've got it written up complete in my noggin, I just don't know if the translation into words will do it justice and make it seem less offensive. I hope I don't offend anyone. Actually, I don't really care. I'll try not to. Actually, I can't promise I'll try. But I'll try to try.

Girls. What is it with these people?? You know, I do think of girls as people in there own right. And in many ways... they are. However, sometimes you just have to wonder. Its just these little things in life where you wonder if maybe you're about to get punk'd. I swear, one of these days Ashton Kutcher is going to come out, probably on Oprah or something, jump up on a couch and we'll all kinda understand what's going on.

I think that girls are secretly cold blooded reptiles.

Seriously. Cold blooded.

I mean this in the most literal way. They're very warm, loving, caring creatures. They're incredible. They complete our lives, they're beautiful, they do pretty much run society, and they have hearts of gold. Except these golden hearts are pumping out cold blood.

You know how you'll be chillin with a girl, watching a movie or something. You're inside, you're out of the sun, cuddling together, so you reach over like a P.I.M.P and take her hand, and somehow manage to find the slab of ice that must have fallen out of the sky, like we get here in Oakland. And then you realize its her hand!!

Sick, dude. Girls hands and feet are always freezing cold. Doesn't matter where you are, what time it is, or what. Freezing cold, all the time. Seriously, its like they have to absorb heat from the sun to retain energy for their day, which could explain tanning, sunbathing, and extreme grumpiness during cold cloudy winter months.

Dude, think about it. Cold blooded creatures are much more active in warm climates than cooler climates. So when it gets cold here in California, you know, like mid 50's, girls throw on their parkas, scarfs, hats, mittens, and that awful skirt and fuzzy ugg boot combo, and then sit down while we serve them hot chocolate, so they can conserve their body energy. But in the summer, it's always shorts, a shirt and flip flops and these girls are all over the freakin' place. They've got energy to spare. We can't keep up with em. I'm telling you the truth!! It's because cold blooded reptiles take the temperature of their surroundings.

Oh, and check this out. Cold blooded creatures turn most of their food energy directly into body mass. And girls always tell me that when they eat chocolate or sweets it goes straight to their hips, thighs, or derierre. How much more proof do you need?

How about this: It's a well known fact that women don't sweat. They don't cool down through water evaporation like us humans. Women "glow." Hmm, which is interesting cause cold blooded reptiles don't sweat either!! They cool off by seaking shade, opening their mouth and changing their skin color. Kinda like how girls like to cool down after they start glowing by lying under an umbrella and open their mouths to eat the grapes we feed them. Or by runnin their mouths non stop. Maybe that's why girls tend to talk alot sometimes. They're not just talking. They're sweating!!! And they warm up by lying in the sun. So every time I got to the beach, girls are always tanning, soaking in the sun's energy while they can so they can save it for later. Meanwhile, the guys are running around in the sand sweatin it up.

Like mammals. That's why you call us dogs and pigs I'm assuming. And that's probably why we refer to some of you as snakes. And it could explain why you all love turtles so much.

We're animals. And you're reptiles.

And we love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss much!!!

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[02 Jun 2005|09:29pm]


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[20 May 2005|10:22am]


join  banana_pudding_

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[15 Apr 2005|04:24pm]

hi. im new.

i bitch a lot.

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[14 Mar 2005|08:24pm]

[ mood | frustrated ]

Who here hates people and why?

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New here [12 Mar 2005|02:12am]

[ mood | aggravated ]

Thought I'd start out with a rant, directed at no one in particular.

I'm so tired of the teenage melodrama, the expectations of a perfection that doesn't exist. Truth is objective.


all of this trivial bullshit... petty obsessions with things in life that don't matter.

Stop comparing yourselves to others! You are the only one left to judge your life. Step away from the mirror. Stop reflecting on what you do and don't have. Stop trying to make yourself better. Who cares if you're ugly. Go watch a sunset. Then maybe you'll realize everything is beautiful.

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Its So Unfair [07 Feb 2005|12:14pm]

[ mood | crazily happy-dippy ]

(ive copied this from my journal)

on weds i saw so many pretty, perfect intelligent people,

aladdin told me yesterday that theyre rich kids

its unfair ... theyre perfect while we have to work harder

honey was like ... 'these are the people we're competing with'

theres no competition theyll get the As while i have to settle for a B

they get evreything handed to them while we have to work harder, to be beautiful, perfect and intelligent

Life Sucks

saturday lilac had her birthday party its right now and i cant go coz i have class to get the perfect grade

(lilac, honey and alladin are my mates and they prefer to be anonymous)

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Don't it turn you on? [01 Oct 2004|11:55pm]

[ mood | okay ]

I should just delete this community since no one writes in it :( So I guess I will..

Summer was good. Saw Alice Cooper in concert. I also saw JOAN JETT & THE BLACKHEARTS along with Cheap Trick and Tesla :) You can't even try to imagine my excitement.

Um..I'm in my last year of High School. Thank god. Some days are good but most are bad.

I would totally rant about everything on my mind right now but I won't for the fact that no one even looks at this.

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What I post is NOT the sum of who I am. [22 Aug 2004|09:48pm]

[ mood | pissed off ]

[X-posted out of pure spite.]

Yaknow what bothers me like an oversized pinecone up the ass? People that assume that the events you put in your journal are the only things going on in your life. So what if I post about someone or something a lot? That doesn't mean I'm talking about or thinking about him 24/7. That doesn't mean I'm obsessive, nor does it mean I have nothing else to think about. If I posted about every fucking minor event in my life, I'd have my brain wired to the computer and post an entry every minute of every day, nonstop, describing things most people probably don't wanna hear about, like the consistency of my shit on any particular day.

Remember the "real" little books that people used to use as diaries? You know, before the cancer of the internet was invented, and people knew how to use pens and pencils? One didn't necessarily write in those books every day, nor did one write about just anything. People want to chronicle the important, meaningful, happy, or funny happenings in their lives, however insignificant they are. It's only natural to highlight and repeatedly remind yourself about these things to keep yourself sane.

So don't anyone dare call me obsessive when it comes to the things I choose to post about. This is a journal, assholes. Consider how your brain works. Do you realize how many times you'll think about one particular thing each hour? How many times a day do you think about how you look? How many times do you worry about your friends or your job? How many times do you wish you could bash some fucknut driver's head in with a pickaxe? Does that mean you obsess over these things? No. The human mind races along at incredible speeds, and topics will repeatedly surface, usually in order of immediate relevance. Study association trees sometime - it's interesting stuff. Try brainstorming in a LJ post one of these days. Just type out exactly what you're thinking at that moment, and go from there, no matter how crazy or irrelevant it may be. As far as journals go, we're free to choose which of these thoughts end up on paper, or in this case, typed out online. LiveJournal, or any journal, is simply a way to record the things we think about.

I'm sick and tired of people complaining about the content of personal journals. Yeah, so it's open to the public. That doesn't mean this is Ed TV, nor am I in any way required to post for an audience. If you feel you need to know all the details, or assume that I am the sum of what I post, you're nothing but a sorry dumbass clusterfuck of an excuse for an obsessive, dick-faced, retarded brainless lump of carbon-based matter with human features gone wrong, and you should be violently dragged out onto a busy highway and shot repeatedly in the face.

If you have a problem with that, go kill yourself. The human gene pool has absolutely no need for your kind.

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[08 Jun 2004|11:55pm]

nobody updates in here :( i didn't make a community for ppl not to write in!! :(

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[31 May 2004|06:39pm]

[ mood | happy ]

i came home the other day and i was like "what is that?" bc i saw one of my fish chasing something. i got closer and freake out when i saw it was a baby fishy!! then i found 2 more. then later that night i found another and then next day i found another and the next i found another. altogether that's 6 baby fishys. i was quite excited. okay i was over-excited :) and i still am :)

im also reading aquariums for dummies

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[15 May 2004|10:40am]


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[05 May 2004|06:09pm]

Gack. Guy problems.

There's this incredible guy in my biology class and I've had a crush on him since the school year started, and he was staring at me during class the other day. I only have 2 more classes with him and then I have to move to fucking Middle-of-Nowhere, Tennessee. But GOD I want him.


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[15 Apr 2004|06:56pm]

[ mood | crushed ]

gahh. i am so fustrated today.

there is this girl that i like, i have liked for a while, and she leads me on so much, but she wrote me this e-mail talking about this girl that she likes..(that isn't me) and gahh,, it makes me so mad..

but her ex girlfriend says that she's like that, so maybe it's better that i apparently don't have a chance..

gahh.. hmmm.. oh well, what can you do?

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[14 Apr 2004|01:42pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Fucking fucking fuck!!!!!
Ok, let's make a list of all the things that pissed me off today...

~I LOST MY BLEEDING BINDER. My binder with my lucky pen and all my paperrrs and my very very secret very very private very very scandalous diary. IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!! ::cries like a baby::

~I want to tell someone something about me. I've wanted to for a VERY long time. But I'm so afraid that it will get out and I will have that shit on my reputation FOREVER. NOOO AHHHH!!!!!!!

::sobbing:: And then, and then I wanted to buy something in the cafeteria but breakfast was going to be closed in a few minutes and then I realized that I had left my money in my coat which was in my homeroom and I went there and the door was locked so I waited like 3 million hours for the teacher to come back and when she finally did I grabbed my coat and flew to the cafeteria and I ran to the door and you know what? THEY SHUT THE DOOR!!!!! JUST *slam* BOOM! LIKE THAT!!! And I looked back and all my friends were laughing at me and I was too upset to make a joke out of it and I went to the vending machine and got an icky cinnamon bun. I WANTED REAL FOOD, NOT STUPID PROCESSED CRAP!!!!! And I passed by my crush and he didn't say a word to me, because he was with his girl...grrrrr!!!!!!! I wanted to smack the living daylights out of her and her mother. =(

Hungry, abandoned, abused, I went to first period and I realized that we were having a test about a book that I hadn't read, and the teacher was uber-pissed at me, and I had to take the F, and that was a HUUUGE TEST....WHY OH WHY OH WHY!!!!

That is why I'm SO bitchy today. Not to mention bloody bloddy cramps...so don't test my patience today all you stupid Allentown fags, I will rip your arms out and smack you with it.

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pic_fags!!!! [01 Apr 2004|07:32am]
[ mood | happy ]

Hey, I know you've got a community where you post pics already. You must love it...but do you have any pics that don't fit a category, that are just completely random, that no one will let you post anywhere else? Well, this community is DEFINITELY for you. I'm really very lenient. You can post whatever kind of pics you want; you don't even have to type anything. People will comment on your pics (if I can get enough members, of course) and you can comment on theirs, and it will just be a very happy family. Cyas there!

Go to pic_fags

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